Garfield's Creed IV: Gaslight Chronicles
by Jack Spheniscidae Enterprises
Summary: Garfield teams up with the Frye Twins to find Jack the Ripper to stop ultimate evil from conquering modern day! Brand-new time travel adventure!
1. Chapter 1

Garfield's Creed IV Gaslight Chronicles

Back by populist demand!

Garfield was at the White House to be awarded by Obama the President his monthly payment of Medal of Honors

"It is great honrors for me to give you another medal as reward for your service to the amazing nation of America USA." Said Obama the President as he placed Garfields 5000th medal of honor around his neck.

"Indeed it is now if you will be excusing me I will have to be returning to my five-star hotel for the tenth month of my victory orgy." Said Garfield with more important matters.

"Ha ha ha! Don't keep them babes waiting!" Said Obama the President with presidential thumbs ups of approval.

Garfield was about to ring up his custom rocket-powered space-travel Red Corvette as he walked outside when suddenly he felt an incoming disturbance in the force.

"Dai Garfierdo dai!" Screamed a representative of Garfields most infamous enemies the Yakuza as he smashed through the Oval Offices window riding on a WW2 Hornet fighter plane.

"Just what I needed." Said Garfield with cocky smile. "Some warm-ups for my fistings tonight."

"You have eaten your rast rasagna, Garfierdo!" Said the Yakuza with vengeances as he took out his cursed katana and leaped at Garfield. "You have kirred arr my criminar friends and now in name of revengeance I come to craim the bounty on your head!"

"Come at me then. I'm the mood for some bad guy sushi, served beaten and raw." Said Garfield with martial arts as he raised his arms for his daily kung fu smackdown.

The Yakuza slashed at Garifled several times like swirling kitchen sink grinder but Garfield masterfully blocked all of his blows with his bare hands like iron butterfly.

"What is this?" Said Garfield with taunting disappointment. "Are you trying to kill me or give me a manicure?"

"Noooooo my sword wirr not rest until it has tasted brooood, swears I the Yakuza Assassin!" Said the Yakuza with madness as he pulled back for killing thrust.

"Blood you say? How about a brew of your Personal Pint?" Said Garfield with coupe de grace as he used his Tiger Counter move to disarm the Yakuza

"Ooooogy boogy!" Said the Yakuza with pain as Garfield grabbed his sword and stabbed him in the belly with the spinning katana back twirl.

"Here is some steel aspirin for your belly ache." Said Garfield with medical prescriptions as he pulled out the katana and sliced off the Yakuza's head.

"Now that is one way to get some head." Garfield quipped as he threw the cursed katana in the air and walked away without looking as it landed in the Yakuzas decapitated mouth.

Garfield then whistled cheerfully, walking to his Personal City-district sized parking garage.

"They just don't make Assassins like they used to." Said Garfield with disappointments as he was about to call the doorman when suddenly he heard an evil chuckle.

Garfield turned around and to his horror he saw forces of evil darkness roling in to consummate Washington DC in form of killer fog.

"Don't worry Garfield! You'll be seeing plenty of Assassins in the time to come!" Said the Overlord of Hell as he came out from the firestorms in the sky on a flying chariot pulled by ten triple headed hellhounds. "Your short time before your moment of death!"

"Another evil joker itching to be sent back to the pit he was spawned from." Said Garfield as he took out his Desert Eagle and fired a demon-piercing bullet. "Give Satan my .50 regards."

"Not so fast, fat cat! Satan's not in the house no more!" Said the Overlord of Hell with evil chuckle. "You may have bested me before in the past but that was before I stole Satans ultimate power! Now I am the greatest evil in the world and all shall bow before me!"

The Overlord of Hell then removed his horned helmet to reveal he was none other than Shaun Hastings!

Garfield blinked twice in confusion.

"I'm sorry. Who were you again?" Garfield said as he rubbed his mighty genius-sized head.

"I am Shaun Hastings! I was to become the savior of the world and all the hot babes would be mine! Until you killed me Garfield and deprived the universe of my glory! But no more! I am back and I'm going to grind you to kit-kat crack!" Said Shaun Hastings with Megalaomaniacal laughing.

"Ah it must've been on a Tuesday then." Said Garfield with nonchalant dismissal as he continued firing at Shaun Hastings with his Desert Eagle.

"You feline fool." Said Shaun Hastings as he caught the bullets with his mouth and ground them up before spewing hellfire at Garfield. "You only delay your own damnation!"

"You seem quite angry. Why don't you try cooling off? Said Garfield as he did a backflip onto the Washington Monument avoiding the hellfire surf wave and with a pull of his massive muscle-covered arms Garfield ripped the Washington Monument from the ground and swung it into Shaun Hastings knocking him into Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

"The kickass tide is rolling in, evil-doer. I think you better crawl back to hell before I send you there with express-speed fists." Said Garfield as he walked to the edge of the pool which was rippling water as he loaded his Desert Eagles in calm anticipation.

"Hahahaha…" Evil laughter came from underneath the water. "Hell? No Garfield you are mistaken…"

"HELL IS ON EARTH!" Said Shaun Hastings as he burst up from underneath the water, churning it into a boil as he did. With snap of his fingers portals from hell opened up like sinkholes everywhere in America (and the rest of the world). As cities sunk into hell giant demons of all shapes and sizes came out and began to terrorize the mortal world.

"I have toyed with you long enough! Now behold my true power!" Said Shaun Hastings as he slammed his fists together and began to morph into a skyscraper-sized old god made out of kraken tentacles, dragon wings, and laser beam eyes.. Shaun Hastings has transformed into Necro EX Shaun Hastings!

"Looks like it's lasagna with a side of jumbo calamari for dinner tonight." Said Garfield as he leapt at Necro EX Shaun Hastings, drawing back his fist and summoning his inner rock and roll energy to unleash the might of the "GARFIELD PUNCH!" Roared Garfield as he unleashed a never-ending stream of cosmos and lasagna upon the underworld monstrosity.

To Garfields shock however when the nuclear bomb smoke cleared and the fallout ended Necro EX Shaun Hastings was still standing as evil and powerful as ever.

"At a loss of words?" Bragged Necro EX Shaun Hastings as he rooted himself into the Earth and began to corrupt its very core with his influence reshaping the globe into his image.

"This cannot be happening. This is a waking nightmare." Said Garfield with denial as he watched statues of Shaun Hastings sprout up from the soil, with seas of living fish and chips washing into the great lakes.

"Look around you Garfield. Your world is coming to a close. A new age is beginning. The age of the Old Ones and their master, me!" Said Necro EX Shaun Hastings with laugher that sunk entire islands back into the sea.

"You are mistaken. America shall never fall to your tyranny again! And it shall take more than godhood to stop the Garfield-brand pain train." Said Garfield with last hopes as he hopped into a Harley Davidson motorcycle and did a ramp off of the ruins of the Capital Building (it got destroyed by cyber demons offscreen) towards Necro EX Shaun Hastings.

"It's time to kickstop your heart." Said Garfield with magnficient biking skills as he maneuvered directly towards the heart of Necro EX Shaun Hastings.

"Too little, too late Garfield! For millienias in hell I trained for this moment while you wasted time celebrating trivial victories! This. Is. The. End." Cackled Necro EX Shaun Hastings as shadow claws grew out of his body and snatched the Harley ripping it in two.

"Aaaaagh!" Said Garfield as the explosion propelled him into the seat of the Lincoln Memorial.

"Sic Semper Tyrannis, Garfield!" Said Necro EX Shaun Hastings as he unleashed laser fire from his eyes and all was black for Garfield as he was overwhelmed by blinding red lights.

When Garfield came to he was standing upon a floating air pirate ship colony that was traveling through red skies.

"What is this? Where am I?" Said Garfield with confusion, wanting to get back into fight to save America.

"Welcome home, Garfield. Or what remains of it." Said a familiar voice. Garfield turned around and saw that it was Jon Arbuckle, wearing a generals overcoat with an eyepatch and lasagna cigarette in his mouth.

"What happened? How could the majesty of lasagna and freedom have fallen to Imperial Evil?" Garfield roared, the force of his anger instantly igniting a lasagna cigarette Jon Arbuckle gives him.

"It's a long story, Garfield." Said Jon Arbuckle with hardened sorrow as he and Garfield walked out onto deck. Garfield saw many familiar faces from his previous adventures including Haytham Kenway, Connor Kenway, Altair, and Nathan Drake plus Captain Edward Kenway who was now good. "America fell the day you disappeared. We here are all that remains of free humanity. The Resistance. The last American Dreams. We thought you dead but your reappearance must mean that you were displaced through time."

"I must make up for time lost by busting some heads." Said Garfield as he cracked his knuckles, his eyes burning with the vengeance of the untipped pizza man.

"You shall be busting some heads indeed!" Said Leonardo da Vinci as he walked up to Garfield. "But not now, but before!"

"Talk fast Leonardo. I may be in a good mood but my fists aren't." Said Garfield with sternness.

"Through science we have discovered that Shaun Hastings has bonded with the demonic spirit of one of his ancestors – Jack the Ripper! This is why he is too powerful to defeat! But if we were to travel back in time and kill Jack the Ripper and then follow his spirit to hell to kill him again before Shaun Hastings can arrive there we can prevent all this from ever happening!" Said Leonardo da Vinci as he ripped off a cover to reveal the time machine from Garfields last Assassin-fighting adventure.

"Garfield you must travel back in time and find the Frye Twins. Work with them to figure out who Jack the Ripper is!" Said Captain Edward Kenway with advice.

"Fight in the past to change the future to save the present, Garfield." Said Jon Arbuckle with a heartfelt handshake to Garfield.

"I will not let you down." Said Garfield with a stirring goodbye. "For I fight not just for my man muscles and pride, but for America."

With that said, Garfield hit the on button on the time machine and within seconds a glowing time portal had opened up. As Garfield leapt through the portal, Shaun Hastings fleet of anti-matter pterodactyl sky pirates caught up to the Lasagna Air Fortress and eliminated it with Spaghetti Missiles.

"Good-bye Garfield, old friend!" Everyone shouted before the flames consumed them. "May you find the changing spark that undos this cold, heartless world!"

As Garfield spiraled back in time to Victorian London, his heart was heavy with honor and determination and his fists were pumping for brawling as he knew the fate of America was on his shoulders and he knew that he was fighting his greatest battle yet.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Garfield's Creed IV Gaslight Chronicles part 2 – London Calling

100 + 1 precent historically accurate!

It was the year 18XX and Victorian London had been transformered by the Industrial Revolution. Giant clockwork mechs roamed the streets while giant zeppelins patrolled the skies. And throughout the city punk carriage gangs ran over starving orphans in the name of anarchy in the UK.

"Oh boy I am looking forward to another wild night in the big city." Said Jacob Frye as he relaxed in the Assassins train hideout's hot tub taking a bubble bath.

"Jacob Frye how can you think of partying when the evil Templars control the city and withhold its great lasagna stores from the people?" Said Jacob Frye's boss Henry Green with disgust.

"Hey, curry-breath, the Templars could rule the whole world for all I care if it means I can still do the partying every night!" Said Jacob Frye with irresponsibilities.

"You are disgrace to the Assassin name! I feel ashameds to call you my brother!" Said Evie Frye with serous businesses as she walked into the room.

"Haha you are just jealous because you are woman and that makes you the inferior to me naturally in everything." Said Jacob Frye with chauvinist disregards as he played around with his rubber ducky.

"Jacob Frye you little punk you will never be true Assassin like me." Said Evie Frye with eyerolling.

"You may be master Assassin on the streets but I am the master Assassin under the sheets." Said Jacob Frye with womanizing challenge.

"Is that a challenge I hear? I will show you that as liberated independent female I am your equal in all!" Said Evie Frye with feminism as she ripped off her clothes and hopped into the bath with Jacob Frye.

At that moment, Garfield walked in through the door, coated in the blood of all of Londons Templars who he had killed in between chapters.

"What is this? This is a private affair!" Protested Jacob Frye with insecurities in the presence of a real man as he and Evie Frye splashed each other in the tub.

"By the stars! It is the legendary Garfield!" Said both Henry Green and Evie Frye as they recognized the orange Hercules in front of them. "But you have not been seen since the American Revolution!"

"Wait who is Garfield?" Said Jacob Frye with confusion because he was too lazy to study his Assassin history.

"Who am I?" Said Garfield with badass stoicism as he cracked his muscles. "Only the manliest man in all the known universes. Now, Jacob and Evie Frye, come with me and help me make Jack the Ripper Jack the RIPped "

"No Garfield I don't want to help you hurt my ego with your superiority!" Whined Jacob Frye with poutiness.

"I'm sorry Garfield but Assassins are too busy freeing London to give you our helps!" Said Henry Green with much sorrow.

"You lazy bums. I singlehandedly killed all your Templars to make room on your schedule for more important tasks: mine." Said Garfield with his majestic lasagna superiority.

"Oh no Garfield I want to help you but my Twitter shows that London is still under control by evil forces!" Said Evie Frye as she checked her Lasagna iPhone.

"This must mean that the Templars were but a front for the true evil controlling all of London!" Said Henry Green with horror. "And this evil continues to withhold lasagna from the people?"

"Whaaaat? That is criminal!" Said Garfield as his eyes lit up with righteous outrage. "No British person should be condemned to eat British food! Jack the Ripper can wait. I will find this Lasagna Abuser and make them redder than the finest tomato sauces."

"Lead the way Garfield! May the Assassin's Creed be with you!" Said Henry Green with praises.

"This is the only Creed I'll ever need." Said Garfield with awesome delivery as he pointed at his biceps with his thumbs. He then lit a lasagna cigarette and smoked it, before putting on his black shades of coolness.

"Wait I am the boss here! I am the protagonists of this story!" Said Jacob Frye with much protests at his upstaging.

"Oh shut up Jacob you little dog this here is a real man!" Said Evie Frye with starstruck admiration as she followed Garfield out of the train hideout to begin liberation adventure.

"Grrrr I will not forget this insults to my dignities!" Said Jacob Frye with suspicious glare as he stomped out like crying little boy spanked too hard by his mommy.

Walking through the streets of London Garfield and the Frye Twins soon arrived at a big ominous looking factory with the sign Property of the Lasagna Slaver on it.

"This must be where the true evil overlord must be." Said Garfield with fact.

"Wow Garfield you are such a smart detective! You must teach me how to be as good as you!" Said Evie Frye with awestruck awe.

"Baby, when this is all done, I've got a private seminar waiting for you in my pants." Said Garfield with a wink.

"I bet that whatever Garfield can do I can do even better!" Said Jacob Frye loudly but no one heard him because he was just an insignificant little whiner.

"How will we get in? My Eagle Vision shows me that the inside is filled with every single London gangsters working for the Lasagna Slaver!" Said Evie Frye with tactical preparation.

"Haha easy!" Said Jacob Frye as he pulled out his cheap knockoff Spaghetti-brand phone. "I will ring up some of my Rook homies and we'll storm in and kill everyone!"

"Jacob Frye you fool that is near suicidal and foolhardy. We must use stealths and infiltrates the factory with quietness." Said Evie Frye with smart plan.

"No shut up Evie Frye I am sick of you bossing me around!" Said Jacob Frye as he started to flail around on the ground in tantrum.

"Jacob Frye I suggest you trying using your head some more." Said Garfield with advice as he grabbed Jacob Frye by the legs and threw him threw the door like a spear.

"Aaaaaaa!" Said Jacob Frye with bedwetting crying as he flew through the corridors of the factory impaling several gangsters by the hundreds with his head before hitting a wall and being knocked unconcious.

"Sleep tight, little baby." Said Garfield with wise scorn.

"Wow Garfield I had never thought of doing that before." Said Evie Frye with clapping praise.

"It's nothing but true blue American mastery." Said Garfield as he walked through the smoke like a badass and rolled up his sleeves for fighting as the remaining gangsters swarmed on him.

"Oh how I wish I could be a sexually liberated all-American girl instead of a repressed British tart so Garfield would notice me even more." Said Evie Frye with hearts for eyes as she cheered on Garfield as he began to battle the gangsters.

"Hey look it is Garfield I bet we will become like kings if we kill him!" Said one of the gangsters with stupidity.

"The only kings you'll be are kings of the trashcan." Said Garfield as he leapt like a jaguar pouncing and ripped off a gangsters arm.

"They don't call me the sultan of swing for nothing." Said Garfield as he used the gangsters arm like a baseball bat to decapitate another gangster.

"You can't beat us all Garfield! We are street smart martial artists!" Said two more gangsters as they jumped at him twirling nunchuks.

"Looks like you trained in vain." Said Garfield with true black belt mastery as he countered their blows and responded with a hurricane of punches that reduced them to dust.

"You evil-doers may have tried to paint London black but I am painting you red." Quipped Garfield as he twirled out his Desert Eagles and pumped fifty more gangsters full of lead.

Garfield then looked and he saw a female gangster in alluring and unbuttoned red coat approaching him.

"Oooh Garfield you wouldn't hurt a girl now would you?" Said the female gangster with sirenic seduction.

"The only force greater than my desire for love is my desire for justice!" Said Garfield with a powerful roar as he kicked the female gangster back into a furnace. "The only place you'll light my fire is in hell. Sayonara, lassie." Garfield added as he watched the female gangster scream and burn to ashes.

"Now where is their despicable roach of a leader?" Asked Garfield as he and Evie Frye looked around the empty factory.

"Look Garfield my Eagle Vision detects a secret switch!" Said Evie Frye as she hit a secret button which was hiding in thin air in plain sight out of nowhere.

At the press of the button a wall moved up revealing a secret room. It was full of enslaved and malnourished orphan children being whipped as they made lasagna on an assembly line.

"Who is responsible for this buffoonery?" Said Garfield with disgust at the child abuse for he was a friend and hero to children everywhere.

"I'm glad you asked!" Said a mysterious cloaked figure who was none other than the Lasagna Slaver as he came out of the shadows. "For far too long I have let you uncultured American pig police and ruin the world, Garfield. But no longer, for now with the power of my stolen lasagna I shall at last prove to you the superiority of communism!"

The Lasagna Slaver then ripped off his cloak to reveal that he was really Karl Marx!

"I should've known. The cold, inhuman disregard for children's life. The selfish stealing of lasagnas. All the trademarks of communism, my least favorite un-American thing!" Said Garfield with angered vengeance brewing. "I was only going to kill you quickly but now I am going to kill you slow and enjoy it like a glass of lasagna wine."

"You'll first have to get through my ultimate weapon!" Said Karl Marx with sub-boss fight as he pushed a button opening a test tube. "The next step in evolution, Steampunk Darwin!"

"Rawwrroo!" Said Steampunk Darwin as he stumbled out of his test tube. Steampunk Darwin was a mindless giant mutant beast outfitted with clockwork parts, powered by Karl Marx's stolen lasagna and gas.

"It shames me to dispose of what was once a great scientist mind and a culinary masterpiece, but I must do what must be done for the greater lasagna good!" Said Garfield as he fired his Desert Eagles at Steampunk Darwin.

"Haha Garfield you have become weak link and antiquations!" Taunted Karl Marx as the bullets bounced harmlessly off of Steampunk Darwin's hide.

"Smirk all you want. I will not rest until you have been served a knuckle sandwich with flaming hot justice sauce." Said Garfield undeterred as he charged his inner chi like a bubbling volcano and like a nuclear bomb explosion he sprung at Steampunk Darwin with his fist powered with supernovas. Like Stinger missiles Garfield's mighty fist easily cracked through Steampunk Darwin's chest.

"Nothing is more fit to survive than my man muscles!" Said Garfield with a victory roar as he ripped out Steampunk Darwin's heart and crushed it so hard it was literally atomized from existence.

"Now, Karl Marx, say your prayers. The curtain is falling and so will you." Garfield said as he loaded more bullets into his Desert Eagles, getting ready to end his battle with communism, only to see that Karl Marx had made cowards escape in hot air balloon while Garfield was fighting Steampunk Darwin.

"Haha Garfield where is your American spirit now in the face of communism's true might?" Said Karl Marx as he leapt out from his hot air balloon and pressed a button, which activated a radio beam that transformed Big Ben into a giant mech.

"Where it has always been." Said Garfield with stone cold delivery. "In the hearts and minds of the free people, burning forever as lights of hope in the dark shadow of communist evil."

"Then it's time to blow you out like a candle in the wind!" Sneered Karl Marx from behind the control panel of Big Ben as the clock struck the hour and a big death-ray cuckoo popped out and blasted annihilator beam down at the factory.

"Aieeee save us Garfield!" Shouted Evie Frye and all the orphans.

"Don't worry, children! I won't let you down! For I'm not just a super man… I'm an ultra man!" Said Garfield with heroism as he leapt into the way of the annihilator beam and barechestedly resisted it with nothing but his determination.

"How long can you hold out before the annihilator overcomes you all?" Karl Marx laughed as he upped the power flow to 11.

"Aaaaagh." Said Garfield as he absorbed the full force of the death beam but he remained vigilant to protect the orphans in the name of American heroism.

All hope seemed to be running low as Garfield stood all alone in the face of death until he heard the sound of bugles. Then suddenly the air was filled with the sound of bugles. It was the US Cavalry, led by American hero presidents Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant!

"Our forebear George Washington created this elite squad in case Garfield needed America's aid once more!" Said Abraham Lincoln with explanations as he led American Pegasus squad in divebomb attack on Big Ben.

"Here Garfield take the secret weapon of America!" Said Ulysses S. Grant as he threw Garfield a special trigger with a big red white and blue button before the US Cavalry flew away to continue administering world policing.

At Garfield's push the button activated the White House and it flew up from its foundations and sped across the sea and transformed into Garfield's own personal mech, powered by rock and roll guitar.

"Looks like it's time for a giant-robo beatdown." Said Garfield with juicy anticipation as he began to shred away at the guitar playing DIO and Iron Maiden.

The White House and Big Ben battled for hours across the skies of London exchanging missiles and lasers until the battle went into space.

"Time's up, Karl Marx. Your judgment is at hand." Said Garfield with attacks as he pummelled Big Ben into a meteor field.

"This won't be the end! COMMUNISM WILL RULE THE WORLD!" Said Karl Marx with delusions even as Garfield ripped off Big Bens arms and punched in the clocks face.

"You may not be the dictator man but at least you'll be a rocket man." Quipped Garfield as he fired the White House mechs missile hands, and blew up Big Ben.

"Noooooooo" Screamed Karl Marx with defeat as Garfield ejected from the White House mech and began to pummel Karl Marx as they free-fell through the atmosphere like shooting stars of doom

"Now, Karl Marx… Welcome to oblivion." Said Garfield with finishing punch as he spiked Karl Marx's crisp black skeleton into the ocean.

"Yaaaaaay Garfield! Our savior!" Cheered all the orphans as Garfield returned to Earth without a parachute like a true man.

"Remember, that it was an American who saved you and not a British king." Said Garfield with wise advice as he signed autographs for the orphans.

"Now that we have freed London, what now?" Asked Evie Frye as she came up with her useless brother slung on her shoulder.

"Tomorrow, we find Jack the Ripper." Said Garfield as he brushed himself of astro dust. "But first…"

"What is it, you wise master?" Said Evie Frye with big doe eyes.

"How about a ride on my night train, babe?" Said Garfield with a wink as he and Evie Frye walked off into the sunset.

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Garfield's Creed IV Gaslight Chronicles pt 3: Somebody Got Murdered

It was evening filled with the scent of love as Garfield and Evie Frye dinned in his private dining room in the Assassin train hideout.

"Garfield I do not know yet if I am ready for this great duty." Said Evie Frye with much concerns.

"My sweet ladyfinger, speak your mind of bedtime woes." Beckoned Garfield with welcoming tone.

"I have spent so much of life needing to be perfect that I am not sure if I can pleasure true legend like yourself." Admitted Evie Frye with much insecurity.

Hearing this Garfield only chuckled. "Evie Frye you silly rabbit perfection is in the eye of the beholder. How can you be sure how good you are at loving if you never try?" Said Garfield with wise advice as he poured himself a glass of lasagna wine.

"Yes Garfield you are right!" Evie Frye smiled with lovings in her eyes as she got ready to unbutton her shirt.

"My lovestick will be the eraser to all your insecurities." Purred Garfield with seduction as he came alive with a manly bulge.

But before Garfield and Evie Frye could begin action of romantics Jacob Frye kicked down the door. Jacob Frye was very drunk and angry and he had a battle of rum in hand. With flailing baby cry he thew the bottle at Garfield.

"What is the meaning of this impudence?" Said Garfield with repugnance as he skillfully flicked back the bottle into Jacob Fryes crotch.

"I am angry that everyone does nothing but bullies me! Especially on today when it is my birthday!" Whined Jacob Frye like crybaby as he gripped his tater tots in pain.

"That is because you are nothing but stupid brash hothead." Retorted Evie Frye with a very clever putdown.

"But you are nothing but frigid perfectionist ice queen!" Replied Jacob Frye as he rolled around crying on the floor while slamming his fists ove and over on it.

"Stop this tomfoolery right now!" Said Garfield as he stamped down his foot with the force of subsonic earthquakes before unleashing upon them hailfire of valuable life lessons. "You are family you should be treating each other better than this!"

"But why Garfield my brother has been nagging thorn in my buttocks for my entire life!" Evie Frye told Garfield with much truth.

"Because friends and foes may come and go, but family is forever. As sure as the lasagna is to be baked tomorrow." Said Garfield with abstract but meaningful philosophy.

"Wow Garfield you may be right but I do not know if how we are to get along for we are polar opposites." Said Evie Frye with magnetic physics.

"Then perhaps it is time you two tried to get more intimate with each other?" Said Garfield with a wink.

"Normally this would be disgusting but since they are twins it is okay." Garfield said reading aloud from the Philosophy in the Bedroom the extended Lucasfilm edition.

Garfield then directed Jacob and Evie Frye to a king-sized bed where they hopped onto it like bunny rabbits in the blooming fields of spring and began to undress like butterflies emerging from cocoons.

"Young punks, it's time to show me some Victorian opera." Said Garfield as he took out his video camera and put on a romantic rock ballad by Queen.

At Garfield's finger snap Jacob and Evie Frye first began cuddling and wrapping around each other like an anaconda squeezing an alligator.

"Happy birthday Jacob Frye this is your surprise gift." Said Evie Frye as she got onto her knees and with all her mouth sucking gave Jacob Frye his present of astonishing delights.

"You suck like a true pro now let me show you what I am made of sister." Said Jacob Frye as he tackled his sister down onto her back like star quarterback and began to rub her watermelons like coffee being stirred.

"Hee hee you talk like man but you are still small fry." Taunted Evie Frye with sensualness as she ran her tongue across Jacob Frye from top to bottom like a cone of soft serve ice cream being eaten.

"Haha stop that tickles I must cane you now!" Jacob Frye laughed as he spanked his sister with great vigority as they rolled around under the sheets.

"This is much better time than going to the movies." Said Garfield with a laugh as he drank scotch and lasagna on the rocks and watched as Evie Frye proceeded to grasp Jacob Fryes blood sausage with her toes and soles and rubbed it like pizza man kneads the dough.

"Oh Jacob Frye put your cane away and show me your hidden blade!" Begged Evie Frye with unlimited delights as Jacob Frye lied down on her and weighed her down like the world on Atlas shoulders.

At Evie Fryes Command Jacob Frye revved up his Choo-Choo train and entered her trainstop and began to move car-by-car of his engine into her busy port.

"Garfield you were right! Until this day we have been nothing but bickerers but now we finally see that we are all that we got in this cold cruel world! Tonight we make light that will never go out!" Both Jacob and Evie Frye panted to Garfield with gratitude as they both began to energetically switch between like and opposite ends of magnetic pleasure to sway back and forth like a playground swing.

"Less talking more loving." Ordered Garfield with pleasure and at his command both Jacob and Evie Frye put tongues in mouth and began to explore like Mars Rovers.

"Isn't it a joy to reunite a happy family?" Asked Garfield with pride as he left the camera running as he left the room as the Frye twins began to go for the moonlight mile of love to refill on scotch.

Later Garfield, Henry Green, and the Frye twins were at the conference table to begin planning. Jacob and Evie Frye were both in bathrobes wearing nothing underneath and giggling as they played footsies.

"Wow what an amazing day this is." Said Henry Green with astonishment. "Garfield has not only freed London from evil to spread the grandeur of lasagna to all but he has also made Jacob and Evie Frye true team players."

"I am a miracle worker in both the bedroom and the battlefield." Said Garfield with much bravado as he flexed his stunning arm muscles.

"Oh brother I can't wait to be stabbed by your hidden blade again." Said Evie Frye with beggings.

"You will soon sister but it will be a different kind of hidden blade!" Said Jacob Fryes voice coming from a different person in the room.

"What is this?" Said everyone with shock as a time traveller appeared from out of nowhere! The time traveller ripped off his hood to reveal that he was none other Jacob Frye in heavy makeup and long hair wig with fake balloons as breasts wearing Evie Fryes clothes.

Before anyone could do anything the other Jacob Frye lifted his arm which was robotic and fired a superlong hidden spear from it and hit Evie Frye in the throat.

"Ghkfhaapth!" Gurgled Evie Frye as she choked on her blood and ded.

"Nooooo Evie my sweet sister I will avenge you by killing me!" Said Jacob Frye as he leapt at himself with vengeances.

"HAHA I THINK NOT." Said the other Jacob Frye as he caught Jacob Frye by the neck and then ripped off his head before kicking it into the wastebasket.

"Goal!" Said Jacob Frye with soccers as he turned to Henry Green and Garfield.

"Stand back Garfield I will hold back this monstrosity! YOGA FIRE!" Said Henry Green as he leapt at Jacob Frye unleashing flames from his mouth.

"Your paltry flames have no effect on the servants of hellfire!" Said Jacob Frye with evil laugh as he shrugged off the yoga fire before he punched through Henry Green's chest with his fists.

"Now I'm in the mood for some brown sugar!" Declared Jacob Frye with vampirism as he bit into Henry Greens neck and drained him of all his vital fluids before tossing his corpse aside. Now that only they were left Garfield and Jacob Frye faced off.

"How could you do this, Jacob Frye? Kill your own sister! I thought you had become a man but you are nothing more than a hyena." Garfield said sadly as he took out his Desert Eagles, getting ready for executions.

"You thought you could undo my timeline by making friends out of me and my sister! Too late, Garfield, for my alliance with Satan makes me immune to time erasures!" Jacob Frye explained with wormholes and paradoxes. "Now, my enemy, call me none other than Jack the Ripper!"

"I should've seen this coming." Garfield said darkly as he fired his Desert Eagles.

"I knew that the only reason no one liked me as much as Evie Frye was because she was girl and I was not! Now I am the only Queen in this family and the world is mine to destroy!" Jack the Ripper laughed with psychological issues as he ripped out Henry Greens spine and proceeded to use it to carve out his M&Ms into endless abyss of faux womanhood.

"For preventing me from plucking the apple from the Garden of Evie… I shall put you down!" Roared Garfield with vengeance emanating from every fiber of his being as he leapt after Jack the Ripper in pursuit as Jack the Ripper leapt out of window in hooting laugh.

"Hoohoohoo eat my dust Garfield!" Bragged Jack the Ripper as he hijacked a carriage and sped down the street.

"Time to grill me some roadkill." Said Garfield as he hopped onto his custom modified rocket-powered carriage and raced after Jack the Ripper while playing an Ozzy album for adrenaline pumping.

"Give up Garfield you will never catch me!" Jack the Ripper laughed like madman as he ran over scores of innocents like bowling pins in chase.

"I have let this silliness go on for too long. This calls for the ultimate attack." Said Garfield as he pulled out his Lasagna-brand BFG One Million which fires mini black holes powered by blue shells and blasted the finishing shot of justice.

"Aaaaagh!" Screamed Jack the Ripper as the black hole began to swallow up all of London, destroying his momentum and speed.

"Now to end this! Jack the Ripper, I brought along my chainsaw bullets just for you." Garfield said as he loaded his special ammunition into his Desert Eagle and fired.

"Noooooo!" Jack the Ripper screamed as Garfield's bullets destroyed his carriage, reducing it to little pine shreds.

Garfield and Jack the Ripper then landed in Buckingham Palace which still stood in the middle of the swirling vortex that was swallowing everything.

"Aaagh get away from me someone gimme shelter!" Cried Jack the Ripper as he tried to run away but the Palace Guard blocked his escape with seriousness.

"There is no shelter for the Garfield-category storm." Quipped Garfield as he advanced on Jack the Ripper.

"I will still best you, for I was Jacob Frye the king of thE art of fighting!" Swore Jack the Ripper with martial arts as he unleashed his attack. "Garfield, taste my KOUKEN! And my KOHO!" Jack the Ripper shouted as he threw out a fireball and then charged at Garfield with poser dragon punch .

"You are no street fighter, you are just hopeless wannabe to the end." Sighed Garfield with disappointment at Jack the Ripper's knock-off moves and counteracted the kouken with a hadouken before countering with his ultimate move of...

"SHORYUKEN!" Said Garfield as he unleashed his mighty dragon punch, setting Jack the Ripper ablaze before dunking him into the fountain for max humiliations.

"No how could this happen I was to be king of all existence!" Cried Jack the Ripper with horror.

"Because you were nothing more than gutter trash." Said Garfield with put-down as he sniffed a delicate palace red rose, before tossing it at Jack the Ripper. The thorn hit Jack the Ripper in the eye, blowing him up as it did.

"GARFIELD!" Cried Jack the Ripper's spirit as he started to run to hell. "In the circles of the damned I shall complete my evil transformation and I'll be back for you!"

"Like hell you will." Garfield said as he ripped out his proton pack that he had hid the whole time for surprises and as he smoked a lasagna cigar he pulled Jack the Ripper towards his ghost trap.

"NOOOOOO" Jack the Ripper screamed but it was too late and Garfield succeeded in undoing his and Shaun Hastings evil plan.

"You're busted, ghost." Garfield said as Jack the Ripper was sucked into the trap before kicking it into the black hole to be obliterated into eternities. As the palace guards cheered on his victory with seriousness London returned to normal from out of the black hole.

Garfield was about to head back to modern day to finish the fight with Shaun Hastings when he heard a concerned female voice. It was Florence Nightingale!

"Garfield Shaun Hastings will no longer be unstoppable but he will still be very dangerous are you sure you will be rushing in there?" Asked Florence Nightingale with female worries.

"Well now that you mention it I guess I need a check-up down here." Said Garfield with a wink.

"You have saved all of Britain! You must be needing a great reward!" Added Queen Victoria as she walked up very dignifiedly.

"Come to think of it I got a big sword in my pants you can knight me with." Said Garfield with clever allegory.

"Would you like Fryes with that?" Said a familiar voice and Garfield's heart filled with fiery hopes of passion as he turned his head around to see that it was Evie Frye resurrected and turned into a cyborg by Alexander Graham Bell!

"Better make them Chili Cheese Lasagna Fryes. Hot and dirty, just the way I like it." Garfield said as he took Evie Frye by the hands and kissed her while everyone else applauded them with tears of joy coming from their eyes.

"Garfield my pleasuring hardware is all up to date for your maximum enjoyment." Announced Evie Frye with patches as she moved smooth hands over Garfield with pleasuring touches in his lower extremities.

"Hitsville UK, here I come." Garfield said as he walked off towards the Buckingham Palace bedrooms with Evie Frye, Queen Victoria, and Florence Nightingale in his arms while somewhere in the other part of the city Jacob Fryes corpse was eaten by hungry orphans.

As they plopped down onto Queen Victorias empire sized bed, the three women quickly removed their clothes for they knew that satisfying their sweet prince was of the urgent essence while Garfield put on some arousing Rolling Stones records in the record player while throwing away Prince Alberts sissy music which was The Beatles.

"Oh Garfield we never knew what freedom and royalty were before we met you!" Said all three women with astonishment as they took turns wiping Garfields royal scepter clean to make this evening encounter fit for a king.

"Sweet cakes, it's time to be frosted." Garfield winked as he took his time spreading his special icing all over their nimble bodies.

"Let me inject love into your life." Said Garfield as he first kissed Florence Nightingale while shooting her full of the passions of a million flaming mongooses as Evie Frye and Queen Victoria licked her cheeks like cats cleaning themselves.

"King me and I shall make you Queen of Lasagna and eat you like you've never been eaten before." Garfield whispered seductively into Queen Victorias ear as he put his head in between her legs and lapped her like Jesse Owens winning Olympics while Evie Frye and Florence Nightingale tickled them with brushes of pleasure like master chefs forming lasagna noodles.

"You wild horse I will make you my sexy beast of burden." Garfield said to Evie Frye as he spanked her to the chorus of her agonized delights and as he turned all three of them over Garfield made many hours of sweet sexual romantic relations that lasted all the night into the morning.

To be concluded…


	4. Chapter 4

Garfield's Creed IV Gaslight Chronicles pt 4 Straight to Hell

Necro EX Shaun Hastings had rooted him into the Earths foundation and was spreading global pandemic of evil as he turned entire world into living hell. He was casting down stars from the sky, making pregnancies in little girls, wiping out entire ethnicities and worst of all making people listen to Phil Collins.

"No one gave me time of day when I was alive but now that I am undead demon king they will be bowing for their lives." Laughed Necro EX Shaun Hastings as he melted entire countries into charnel houses while playing the satanic melodies that was Sussudio on his iPod.

Necro EX Shaun Hastings then slithered to the White House to destroy the morale of the world by killing Obama the President.

"Come out and lick my tentacle tumor feet clean and I will spare your pathetic balding lives." Proclaimed Necro EX Shaun Hastings as he ripped off the roof othe White House with the cancer lump hand protruding from his mouth.

"No! As leader of the American people and the freest and greatest country of the world I shall not disgrace my nation by bowing before terrorists!" Said Obama the President as he crossed his arms with defiance while the foul acid breath of Necro EX Shaun Hastings melted away the White House.

"Then I will crush you like bug as I will crush America!" Said Necro EX Shaun Hastings as he lifted his giant fist but before he could bring it down he felt sudden sapping of power!

"Noooooo what is happening?" Necro EX Shaun Hastings asked as all his muscles popped like pimples and he shrunk back into normal Shaun Hastings.

"Looks like your plans have gone awry!" Everyone looked up as they saw Garfield descending from a time portal in the sky with freefall. AS he landed he created a shockwave that annihilated rampaging demons for galaxies around. "Just like your face soon will be." Garfield added as he cracked his knuckles readying to peel a limey for cocktails of beatdown.

"Superpowered by my ancestor or not you will know that I have become master street fighter and you shall now perish by my fistings!" Shaun Hastings yelled as he ripped off his shirt to reveal flabby chest without a single hair as he threw hadoukens taught to him by Dan at Garfield.

"Looks like failures run in the family." Garfield said with little interest as the power wave bounced harmlessly off of his radiant shining biceps.

"That's not all I have in my bag of tricks! Feel the wrath of my TATSUMAKI!" Shaun Hastings yelled as he charged at Garfield with harmless and wannabe hurricane kick. As it hit Garfields titanium chest al the bones in Shaun Hastings entire legs exploded.

"Now let me show you what a real King of Fighting is made of! Taste my fatal fury!" Garfield yelled as he charged up his inner chi and unleashed upon the crying Shaun Hastings his powerful fire blast of "POWER GEYSER!"

"Aieeee mommy save me!" Cried Shaun Hastings as Garfield kicked him into the air with a RISING TACKLE before hitting Shaun Hastings in the face with a BURN KNUCKLE as he fell back to Earth with x-ray demolition bonesnapping.

"Oooogh you may be stronger than me but I have the power of black magics on my side!" Shaun Hastings cried as he spat out blood and teeth and waved around a magic wand.

"Heaven or hell, there is nothing that will protect you from me." Garfield said unimpressed as Shaun Hastings used his black magic to drag down the entire world into hell and he began to consume demons and evil energy and soon Shaun Hastings had eaten all of hell itself and he began to morph into a screenfilling triple zeppelin sized devil.

"Chew on this Garfield!" Screamed Shaun Hastings as he threw explosive meteors at Garfield.

"Ooof!" Garfield grunted as the explosions made dust that blinded him.

"You will never stop me you lasagna shagging ruffian! What can you do against the living embodiment of all evil itself! You are all alone in the face of my supremacy!" Shaun Hastings taunted Garfield as he scooped him up and proceeded to crush him like Heinz packet.

"Then it's time for a little help from my friends!" Said Garfield as he used his colossal strength to pry apart Shaun Hastings hand and did a backflip kick in his face. As Garfield fell towards rocks floating on lava he took out his special wrist-watch communicator and buzzed it sending message to every active and reserve member of Garfields global police organization PAWS.

"Oh no what is this?" Asked Shaun Hastings with dismay as portals of heroic manly light began to pull in Garfield's disciples from across all of existence.

"PET FORCE ASSEMBLE!" Yelled Garfield with a heartpumping inspirationing battle cry as every single companion that had ever joined Garfield on his past adventures gathered behind him.

"You think all of you little maggots can take on the power of the devil?" Shaun Hastings screamed as them as he fired lighting from his fingertips at them.

As Garfield casted an energy shield to protect them from the lighting he gave all his followers one decisive command of action which also had very important life lesson for all children watching. "All of you brave manly men, we have but one mission. Show this dollar-store knockoff conqueror the true power of our macho friendship and teamwork."

"Garfield we know that as women it is inproper for us to be fighting for any reason but your titillation but we shall lend you our support as cheerleaders!" Shouted Evie Frye, Elise, Claudia Auditore, Shao Jun, Mary Read and Anne Boney, and all the other women of Garfield's harem as they cheered the men on and stayed in their proper places as ladies.

"COME AT ME THEN! I AM INVINCIBLE I WILL NEVER FALL BEFORE YOU GNATS!" Said Shaun Hastings with stupid headed challenge as he held out his arms wide open for attack.

"I was the original Assassin and it is only fitting that I deliver the first blow of your asskicking!" Said Altair with commencement as he did a daring air assassination onto Shaun Hastings and began to stab and ride him like a colossus.

"Killing Shaun Hastings is fun for the whole family!" Said Captain Edward Kenway as he piloted a HIND helicopter and fired rockets into Shaun Hastings nether region while Haytham and Connor Kenway rained machine gun wrath into Shaun Hastings eyeballs.

"Ouchie wowies! No you cannot do this to me I have a sexy accent I am sacred!" Shaun Hastings cried as the force of the attacks started pushing him back right as nuclear-bomb equipped flying machines powered by electricity kites began crashing into him.

"Your magic barbarities could never defeat science!" Proclaimed Leonardo da Vinci Alexander Graham Bell and Benjamin Franklin as they did a science-bro triple high-five.

"Haha nothing like an invigorating afternoon killing to get my blood flowing!" Bragged Nathan Drake the Ultimate Assassin of Modern Days as he did hit and run blindfire attacks on Shaun Hastings confusing him and making him too dizzy to fight.

"This is opening we need! Presidents of the United States, form the Executive Eradicator!" Garfield commanded as Shaun Hastings flailed his arms around like a virgin sissy wildly.

At Garfield's Command the US Presidents George Washington, Obama the President, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, and the two Roosevelts hopped into giant mechs and then combined to form an even gianter red white and blue mech.

"Egads what is this?" Shaun Hastings shrieked as he saw the Executive Eradicator bearing down pupon him.

"Four eyes meet giant robot!" Cried George Washington as he led the other Presidents in unleashing asskicking monsoon of lasers and laser swords upon Shaun Hastings.

"We almost have him on the ropes. All we need is one final push." Said Garfield with hopes flowing through him. Right on cue he heard a familiar noise.

"AMAKOOOOOOOOO"

It was Jon Arbuckle swooping through the skies on a bald eagle while the National Anthem played, firing his golden peacemaker revolvers at Shaun Hastings.

"Oh no I really do come up short down here!" Screamed Shaun Hastings as he realized that his devil armor had almost been totally destroyed.

"It is all up to you now Garfield!" Said Jon Arbuckle as he did a badass freefall landing right next to Garfield. "FINISH THIS NANCY POOFTER!"

Garfield then hopped onto Pooky his personal flying firebreathing pet grizzly bear and sped towards Shaun Hastings with the finishing attack.

"It's closing time. But I got one last order of demise just for you." Garfield said as he reached maximum speed and with Pooky's roaring loyalty by his side Garfield and his steed burst through Shaun Hastings like jelly popping out of a doughnut.

As the dust cleared, Shaun Hastings was just regular old loser again. Seeing Garfield and friends towering over him, Shaun Hastings started scrambling to Garfield boots to begin kissing them.

"Garfield I now know the error of my ways please forget my crimes and let me live!" Shaun Hastings begged before Garfield kicked him off.

"Little rat your life is so pathetic that it would be disservice for me to end it." Said Garfield as he spat on Shaun Hastings. "So taste the only juice of justice fitting for your kind."

Garfield then locked Shaun Hastings in a cage with the famous pornographic writing deviant Charles Dickens.

"Why hello there do you know why they call me Charles Dickens?" Asked Charles Dickens with a gleam in his eyes as he looked at Shuan Hastings while applying lube to his fists.

"NOOOOOOOOOO" Squealed Shaun Hastings like a pig as Charles Dicken began some old fashioned Victorian buggering.

Garfield and his company then departed hell back to Earth which was still damaged from Shaun Hastings corruption leaving Shaun Hastings in hell forever to face his fate.

"Well there were some rough turns along the way but in the end everything worked out just a-ok." Said Garfield with satisfaction as he walked out to face a cheering and applauding crowd of the entire worlds population.

"What will you do now Garfield now that you have saved the world again?" Asked a TV news reporter as he put microphone to Garfield's mouth.

"I think this is a good time to celebrate with a new single from our band!" Suggested Jon Arbuckle as he whispered into Garfield's ear as he and the rest of Garfields bandmates got ready.

"That is good idea Jon Arbuckle. Let's repair the worlds wounds with the healing power of rock and roll." Said Garfield with agreement with a snap of his fingers and Garfield grabbed the microphone.

"Hello people of the world. To celebrate the defeat of evil by my awesome hands once again my band and I will play the first track from our upcoming album The Number of the Lasagna which I call 'My Lasagna Heart'. Ladies, don't be surprised if you find yourselves pregnant after listening." Garfield announced to the sound of great applause and anticipation.

As mist rolled across the stage and laser lights swayed back and forth while fireworks dotted the sky, Captain Edward Kenway began the festitivites as he played a smooth ditty on his synthesizer and was joined by Haytham Kenway on sax, Connor Kenway on bass Altair on drums and Evie Frye as his cheering head groupie in heat before they lead right into Jon Arbuckles mighty shredding guitar intro.

As the heavy metal rock party reached its peak, Garfield began to sing with the Presidents of the USA on backing vocals, his voice the angelic harmony of the greatest man there ever was. As he sung, every syllable of Garfield's awe-inspiring voice resurrected the destroyed Earth acre by acre.

"We came together like libido car wreck

Starving man saved by your zest

When I met you I knew it was the end

Another day without you I couldn't withstand

Because you took my lasagna heart

And without you I'm just falling apart

I want you kneeling and tasting my love

While I paddle you with my steel glove

Because you took my lasagna heart

And without you I'm just falling apart

Come back to the my palace of desire

Under silk sheets we'll go higher and higher

By your nudity I am forever led astray

Aroused by your hair with every windy sway

Because you took my lasagna heart

And without you I'm just falling apart

Like boiling water in the cooking pots

I can only dream and lust for your hots

Because you took my lasagna heart

And without you I'm just falling apart

I promise to love you with all I got

Cause I know pleasure's what you wannt

So please reunite me with my lasagna heart

And I will pop your virginity with my love dart"

As Jon Arbuckle accompanied Garfield's final note with a hardhitting metal chord, the audience with wild with personal sauces spilling and applause. Dictators and murderers and other evil people are instantly blew up when faced with Garfield's musical judgment while babies who had died in childbirth were resurrected for a second chance at life.

"Oh Garfield how can we ever repay you for this!" Said all the grateful mothers with gratitude.

"Just remind your kids everyday to study hard in school, don't do drugs, and eat lots of lasagna and they will find themselves with many PHDS." Said Garfield with life lessons as Jon Arbuckle broke his guitar down on the stage for celebrations, unleashing vortex of world peace energy into the world that would ensure the end of all war and hatred for a millennia. Garfield then did half-time tricks while riding on Pooky bear to more applause before the band then segued into a greatest hits charity concert that lasted for three days.

As the rock party winded down Garfield put in a lasagna cigarette to smoke as he walked off stage for private backstage party with his harem. Waiting outside his VIP rooms door was Evie Frye, walking a sultry walk.

"Today was an amazing day Garfield." Said Evie Frye with lustful desire. "You have shown me just not how to be Assassin but how to be proper loving lady."

"Ready to go for the finishing exam?" Said Garfield as he placed his gentle giants hand on Evie Fryes precious bottom while unbuckling his pants with the other.

"Oooooh Garfield treat me nice." Evie Frye moaned with swooning delight as Garfield ripped off her shirt with surprises.

"Party girl, this'll be a night you'll never forget." Said Garfield with promises of seduction as he held the door opened for her and locked it as he closed it, and all through the night the world could hear the sounds of Garfield dunking his hidden claymore into his babes haystacks of ecstasy and with reassurances they knew that this meant Garfield would always be there to protect them from evil.

The End…?

Authors note: I hope reading this got you as excited for playing Assasins Creed Syndicate as I am! Remember no matter what happens all that matters is that you have fun!


End file.
